This has always been a favorite curiosity of mine - one's obsessive need to "fit in" by "standing out" (in their own mind) and the interesting irony that when enough folks "stand out" in the same way, well that group doesn't stand out any more, all the same uniform - mentally, physically, materialistically, spiritually, socially...like when a fad of clothing, or behavior, or thinking, or drinking or eating becomes common, well, there's no uniqueness anymore and "somebody" morphs into "nobody", or becomes the same as everyone else, which then emotionally and psychologically feels uncomfortable and leads to another attempt to find a way to "stand out", be different so they can return to feeling like a "somebody." A real interesting psycho-social phenomena. A lifetime struggle for many folks.
Uh-oh, my expensive car is the same as yours, so I better get it detailed, to stand out. My plasma TV screen is the same as yours, so I'll get another one with better background lighting, to stand out. My kids are the same as yours, so I'll enroll mine in (name the activity), to stand out. My wine is the same as yours, so I’ll find one that comes from Mars, to stand out.
At work, we often see the managerial "fad du jour" espoused awkwardly by one who doesn't have a clue, but attempts to integrate it into the managerial process to "stand out" and be seen as different. When "everyone does it", well, the next fad.
The insecurity so many feel by not being seen as unique and different (a "somebody" as opposed to a "nobody, in their own mind), is a challenge for many to handle, not feeling comfortable with who they are in their own skin, they look "outside" to be different and be a "somebody."
So the "what" and the "how" you refer to at work is often played out in a sense of needing to be grandiose, different, "out there", i.e, to be "seen" in some way, shape or form, and the bottom line question, for me, is at what expense---does their "what" and "how" serve for the "good of the order" or just as a way to assuage one's ego and been seen as "somebody", unique? Individuality does not necessarily equate with better quality, better results, better (fill in the blank)....just different - and, at what expense?
Steve Roesler
· 1 year ago
Peter,
Indeed, individuality doesn't necessarily equate with "better___".
Perhaps the question needed to be asked and honestly answered is, "Do you want to make a contribution in your unique way or do you just want to be different?"
Jo
· 1 year ago
Mmmm . . . . we live in different worlds. My students, who are a bit older than teenagers, it's true, are very different from each other, and we grade them on similar they are to us.
Steve Roesler
· 1 year ago
Jo,
Perhaps there is a valid reason for that?
Jo
· 1 year ago
Who annoyed you? :-)
I find models that develop youth confidence very interesting BTW. We get bigger changes when they learn in group settings and the key change we are looking for is reflected in 'language of initiative' which sounds something like this "what would happen if we did this?"
You guys have a long weekend too? What is Memorial Day? Hope it is good.
Steve Roesler
· 1 year ago
Jo,
Gee, I'm not annoyed...trying to figure out how I sent that message.
There's a lot of decent research out there regarding young learners and groups. It sounds as if you've tapped into that quite effectively Isn't learning fascinating?
Memorial Day is the day we honor all of those who have died in service to the U.S.
Mike Wagner
· 1 year ago
I have a friend who would refer to his fellow students from a well known radical campus as "800 students all non-conforming in exactly the same way."
My thinking is that we can unite around shared outcomes or we can unite around behavior.
It's amazing to see how often we unite around behavior forfeiting the"what and how" innovations we all would prize should they be offered.
Why do we do that?
Keep creating...your unique "what and how", Mike
Steve Roesler
· 1 year ago
Mike,
Wouldn't it be unbelievably useful to find the answer to that question?
At minimum, it has been my observation that the human condition prefers to caste blame before finding "cause." And blame is often tied to a sort of scapegoating using people we "don't like." Why we don't like them is very individual.
Yet, as you point out, when we're working on something we're supposedly focused on a shared outcome of "what" and "how." It looks as if "who" often plays much more of a role than it should.
All Comments
This has always been a favorite curiosity of mine - one's obsessive need to "fit in" by "standing out" (in their own mind) and the interesting irony that when enough folks "stand out" in the same way, well that group doesn't stand out any more, all the same uniform - mentally, physically, materialistically, spiritually, socially...like when a fad of clothing, or behavior, or thinking, or drinking or eating becomes common, well, there's no uniqueness anymore and "somebody" morphs into "nobody", or becomes the same as everyone else, which then emotionally and psychologically feels uncomfortable and leads to another attempt to find a way to "stand out", be different so they can return to feeling like a "somebody." A real interesting psycho-social phenomena. A lifetime struggle for many folks.
Uh-oh, my expensive car is the same as yours, so I better get it detailed, to stand out. My plasma TV screen is the same as yours, so I'll get another one with better background lighting, to stand out. My kids are the same as yours, so I'll enroll mine in (name the activity), to stand out. My wine is the same as yours, so I’ll find one that comes from Mars, to stand out.
At work, we often see the managerial "fad du jour" espoused awkwardly by one who doesn't have a clue, but attempts to integrate it into the managerial process to "stand out" and be seen as different. When "everyone does it", well, the next fad.
The insecurity so many feel by not being seen as unique and different (a "somebody" as opposed to a "nobody, in their own mind), is a challenge for many to handle, not feeling comfortable with who they are in their own skin, they look "outside" to be different and be a "somebody."
So the "what" and the "how" you refer to at work is often played out in a sense of needing to be grandiose, different, "out there", i.e, to be "seen" in some way, shape or form, and the bottom line question, for me, is at what expense---does their "what" and "how" serve for the "good of the order" or just as a way to assuage one's ego and been seen as "somebody", unique? Individuality does not necessarily equate with better quality, better results, better (fill in the blank)....just different - and, at what expense?
Indeed, individuality doesn't necessarily equate with "better___".
Perhaps the question needed to be asked and honestly answered is, "Do you want to make a contribution in your unique way or do you just want to be different?"
Perhaps there is a valid reason for that?
I find models that develop youth confidence very interesting BTW. We get bigger changes when they learn in group settings and the key change we are looking for is reflected in 'language of initiative' which sounds something like this "what would happen if we did this?"
You guys have a long weekend too? What is Memorial Day? Hope it is good.
Gee, I'm not annoyed...trying to figure out how I sent that message.
There's a lot of decent research out there regarding young learners and groups. It sounds as if you've tapped into that quite effectively Isn't learning fascinating?
Memorial Day is the day we honor all of those who have died in service to the U.S.
My thinking is that we can unite around shared outcomes or we can unite around behavior.
It's amazing to see how often we unite around behavior forfeiting the"what and how" innovations we all would prize should they be offered.
Why do we do that?
Keep creating...your unique "what and how",
Mike
Wouldn't it be unbelievably useful to find the answer to that question?
At minimum, it has been my observation that the human condition prefers to caste blame before finding "cause." And blame is often tied to a sort of scapegoating using people we "don't like." Why we don't like them is very individual.
Yet, as you point out, when we're working on something we're supposedly focused on a shared outcome of "what" and "how." It looks as if "who" often plays much more of a role than it should.